Trying to slot back into an old life

Way back in October 2007, I remember sitting down at my computer, terrified, and beginning to tap away at what would become my very first article for this magazine. A lot has changed since then: I’m no longer so intimidated by computers – or of writing – and I’ve ventured out to the northeast of England. Yet, seven months later, I find myself sitting in exactly the same place and on the very same laptop. Yes, ladies and gents – I’m back in Beijing!

Not that I’ve returned to the same city – in fact, it’s barely recognizable. From the moment I touched down in Terminal 3, it was clear the massive building work hadn’t stopped in my absence. The terminal, the stadiums, the new subway line, even the hutong where my family lives have all changed since I left for the UK. Living near Yonghegong means there is a shiny new underground station just round the corner, and for just two kuai a pop I can rediscover the city with more ease.

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No pain, no gain

The verse for this month’s lesson on daddy-ing dilemmas comes from chapter one, page one of the quaintly named “The Pre-school Book.” Written by Brenda Thompson and published in the year of my birth (1976), this bible of parenting wisdom is getting to be a little more faded and smelling a little mustier these days.

Despite its age, however, it remains a timelessly trendy guide to how parents should bring up their kids. What’s more, as one of my mum and dad’s parenting manuals, it is now a family heirloom. Thompson offers educated advice that is guaranteed to warm the staunchest of liberal hearts – “encouragement” and “help” feature prominently.

One quote in particular has been playing on my mind as I have been reflecting on my latest adventures in fatherland: “You needn’t be disappointed if your child is late developing a certain skill,” says Thompson. “Children develop their abilities in different orders and at different rates.”

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Finding the right pet for Elsa

Recently, I’ve been pondering whether or not to get Elsa a pet. My siblings and I grew up in the company of dogs, doves, ducks, hamsters and a rather vicious African Grey parrot. The latter admittedly was the bane of our teenage years, lunging at our fingers at the slightest provocation, but still, on the whole I think Elsa is missing out.

It’s not just about having a great playmate. Through exposure to our assorted pets, my siblings and I learned a lot about life. Our ducks Dapper and Crapper taught us that male ducks can be identified by their curly tail feathers. Hammy the hamster’s sad demise was a gentle introduction to the concept of mortality: Returning home from school one day, our mother informed us of his passing and took us to his grave at the bottom of the garden. (It was 20 years later before we confessed that to verify his death we had each individually exhumed and reburied poor Hammy).

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The right friends can make a world of difference

Try a cigarette, man.”“But … isn’t it bad for you?”

“Come on, all the cool kids are doing it!”

“Maybe I’ll just try one …”

We all give in to peer pressure at times, because we want to fit in or be liked. It’s hard being a teenager with no friends, and so we often leave our better judgment behind when a sticky situation arises.

Many adults think teens encounter peer pressure all the time, and this may be true, but it’s not always under negative circumstances.When we were small, our parents chose our friends for us. They knew who the “best” friends for us would be. But as we grew older, we started making our own friends, and sometimes, I’ll admit, I’ve not been as wise as my parents.

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